Monday, January 26, 2009

Chuck Norris

Ok, so when did Chuck Norris become a pulp culture icon? I mean come on, this is the same man who can collect social security, shills for the Total Gym and likely is coming up on the century mark.

Isn't time to put his old geriatric, decrepit ass to bed already? I hear all these teens going around talking about Chuck Norris like he's some sort of God. I don't get it. He's currently waiting on his nightly pudding delivery at the retirment home.

I grew up when Chuck was supposed to be THE badass on the big screen. Delta Force? Really? How is that badass? Bad choreography sure. Bad acting? Absolutely. But BadASS? I don't get it.

What's next? Is everyone going to start idolizing Galvin Mcleod too? The Love Boat baby......exciting and new....

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Send me a dollar

Hey everyone,

I've got a new game. It's called "Send Me A Dollar". The rules are pretty simple. You take $1 out of your wallet and you send it to me.

I'll collect all the dollars that are sent in, and I'll make a mention of you on this blog. I want to see if we can reach 1 million posts within a year's time.

It's a great deal! $1 gets you mentioned on the PoultryStrangler Blog. We might even get into the Guiness Book this way.

Details to come. In the meantime, go here: PoultryStrangler.com

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Economy Officially Sucks Ballzac


You know it's bad out there when our bovine friends have resorted to waiting tables and working for change.
So, as a reminder to all those diners who might forget, we introduce "Cow Tipping"
It's important to help others.
Get it now at PoultryStrangler!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Ah Crap....


Some Public Bathroom Stall Poetry:
Some come here to sit and think,
I come here to sh*t and stink.
So it's not Frost, but hell, it's good stuff either way.
We would like to introduce you to the Thinker, PoultryStrangler style.
Hey! Maybe he's waiting on a blumpkin? Perhaps it was 2 for 1 night at the Chalupa Chapel! Who knows? Who Cares! Get your stylin' pooper shirt today! PoultryStrangler.com Just $14.95

Monday, January 12, 2009

American Youth, always humping something...



Another one of those youtful indiscretions that most young women give in to. Wait, you stuck a what, where?

Damn girl, I had a skin flute you coulda used.

Wait, you're 16? Never mind.

But keep telling me the story, it's kinda hot in a Mr. Holland's Opus sort of way.

Who hasn't humped a woodwind instrument before? Come on people, it's the new millennium. Get with it! You simply cannot screw an iPod.

But you CAN own this shirt for just $14.95 visit our store: PoultryStrangler.com

Sunday, January 11, 2009

New Site Design, same crappy blog design


Hey Stranglers!

We've gotten the main site updated with some way cool swag. Well, okay, it's not way cool, but it's adequate we suppose.

Go check out the latest designs, whip out your credit card and splurge on some tees sure to offend your Aunt Mabel at Church this Sunday.



There's nothing better than going to hell for giving your Aunt a heart attack. Actually, there's lots better, but we don't have that kind of time right now.


So, Wipe your hands and visit the store: PoultryStrangler.com

Saturday, January 3, 2009

It's our first time, we'll be gentle

Welcome to the PoultryStrangler.com blog. With this being our first time, we hope you're going to be gentle, understanding and patient.

Just let us ease into it, when the mood strikes we'll let you know and you can go like crazy! Until then, take it slow.....we're about to lose our Blog cherry.

oooooooh.....yeah.......hurts.......so.......good!

Oh, you're so good....so gentle.....come back soon......